This year we have received invaluable support, in many ways, from our family, many friends and neighbours. We have experienced the 'spirit' of Christmas many, many times throughout the year.
We feel blessed and sustained by this care and our faith that is underpinned by hope and energised by a desire to live ever more compassionately.
Merry Christmas everyone, may peace and good will bless and keep you all safe.
Love Marg, Ray, Tahnee and Marli

We arrived back from a lovely, relaxing 10 days in New Zealand late last Sunday night. Ray’s friends, Brian and Carole, made us feel very welcome in their beautiful home at Clarkes Beach, Auckland. We spent a few quiet days at Clarkes Beach so Ray could recuperate from his latest round of chemo treatment (the girls made good use of Carole’s spa each day), then Brian, who has a keen interest in New Zealand history, took us on a 3 day road trip north of Auckland to the Bay of Islands area. On our first day we visited a black sand beach, a gannet colony and then went for a swim at the thermal springs pools at Parakai. On our second day we stopped off to see and use the amazing mosaic toilets at Kawakawa before going to the historic town of Waitangi, where we learnt a lot about the history of NZ at the Waitangi Treaty Grounds museum. Ray was invited to be the visiting ‘chief’ at the Kapah Hakah cultural performance. We then headed off to KeriKeri where we visited the oldest surviving house in NZ and the reconstruction of a neighbouring Maori village. On our last day, we travelled through some (even more) beautiful country, stopping off at Opononi Harbour and then the Waipoua Forest where we saw NZ’s tallest kauri tree, Tane Mahuta, which measured 52 ft in girth and was estimated to be 2,000 years old. Finally we visited the fascinating Kauri museum at Matakohe.
Back at Clarkes Beach, the girls spent more time in Carole’s spa but also went hunting for scallops & kayaking on the tidal estuary (that Brian and Carole’s home backs onto) and snorkeling in the oceanarium at Kelly Tarlton’s. On a quieter, but just as enjoyable and memorable side, Marli, Ray, Brian and I spent some lovely evenings learning and playing new card games together.
We arrived back in Melbourne expecting to be greeted by searing heat, but were surprised to find it was mild – even a bit cool - and better still, that a very good amount of rain had fallen. We not only thank Brian and Carole for their generous hospitality and looking after us so well in NZ, but also our wonderful neighbours and friends who took great care of our garden and animals while we were gone.
Hoping life has been treating you all well. Marg, Ray, Tahnee and Marli.

Last Friday (23rd Oct) Ray had a small operation to have a port-a-cath inserted, just under the skin, in his upper left-hand chest area. This replaces the picc line in his arm, which was used to deliver his chemo drugs. The picc line required a lot more maintenance as it has to be flushed every week to ensure no blood clots form and there is a higher risk of it becoming infected. With the port-a-cath, Ray will be able to do things like swim and it will give him a bit more freedom all round. Ray says it's wonderful not having the picc wires hanging out of his arm - a constant reminder of his treatment.
Starting to get excited about our trip to NZ now that it's only a week and a half away.
Best wishes everyone.
P.S. A big thank you again to the 31 people who turned up at our place last Sunday for a working bee. We are extremely grateful to you all.

Rounds 6 & 7 of chemo - weight 77.8kg. Similar side effects. The first 10 days are filled with hot flushes, gurgly tummy, nausea, sneezing and cold-like symptoms. Getting used to the emotional side effects is the biggest effort. Never going to the doctor's for other than annual checks and then having a fully invasive procedure, is a whole new ball game. I'm trying some alternative therapies like men's multi-vitamins, amino acids, juicing fresh fruit and vegies. Continuing with my healthy diet. Sleeping a sold 7-8 hours each night. Considering some Chinese herbal therapies. Have been researching the ones that have integrity as a medicine and will use these conjointly with the chemo.
Off to NZ on 12th - 22nd November - all four of us. Staying with friends who live on a tidal estuary 40kms from Auckland. Had a wonderful week in Sdyney first week of the school holidays. Did the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb as a family. What a wonderful experience watching the sunset over the Blue Mountains. Travelled to The Rocks on the Ferry Cat down the Parramatta River, on the 30 deg. day before the red dust storm. Travelled back to Castlemaine to a 4 deg. evening - brrr! The positive to this was a full rain gauge - 54mm! Fantastic.
Thanks again to all you beautiful people who continue to send your prayers and positive messages of support. Take good care of yourselves.
Blessings - Ray

Fifth round of chemo yesterday. Blood count was good and my weight is up to 78.4kg. Some say it's the steroids, I say it's the good food - maybe a mix of both?
Results of the CT scan (done last Wednesday) were good. The tumors have reduced in size, so the chemo is having a positive affect. Still struggling to work out when will be the best time to have our family trip o/s. The chemotherapy treatment I'm on has a failure rate of 10.6 months, i.e. statistically at 8 months patients have a 70% success rate with the chemo, at 9 months it usually drops to 50%. I am concerned the longer I leave our trip, the more risk there is of the tumors growing again.
At the moment, physically, I have a tight, dry throat, feeling nauseous, nose runny. Have that visual effect where my centre vision is blurry. Happens each treatment for 24-36 hours.
Thank you to everyone who leaves messages on the blog. I do appreciate them. I'm sorry I can't respond individually. You mean a lot to me. Keep the messages flowing.
Blessings - Ray.

click on image to enlarge

Ray's Last Chemo Week.

Monday 17th August. We attend ACCESS ministries annual fundraising dinner in Melbourne. Get home just after mid-night.

Tuesday 18th August. Go to Bendigo Base Hospital for Ray’s 4th round of chemo treatment. We underestimate (yet again) how long this will take and realize we won’t get back in time to pick up the girls from school. Instead of making phone calls and alternative arrangements, Ray decides he would like some exercise and sends me back to Castlemaine. He will walk to the train station (2kms away), catch the train back to Castlemaine and ring me when he gets back.
On the walk to the train station, Ray stops to have his photo taken and give an interview to a roving journalist from the Bendigo Advertiser who is doing the weekly “Word on the Street” segment (see above).
Ray gets back to Castlemaine, rings me and says, “don’t worry about coming to get me, I feel like walking home” – we live 5kms out of town.

Wednesday 19th August . Ray working in Melbourne. Home about 8.15pm.

Thursday 20th August. Goes to Bendigo Base again to have bolus removed (thankfully the clip had been undone and it had emptied). Other than this, Ray has a relatively quite day working at home.

Friday 21st August. Ray attends wedding rehearsal for a wedding he is officiating at on Saturday, then works from home.
In the evening we attend the Buda Fest ’09 Schools’ Harvest Dinner, which Marli has been part of. A pleasant evening with the Knowles’, whose son was also one of 20 primary school students who helped Master Chef Rob Scott prepare and serve dinner using ingredients from the local schools’ gardens.

Saturday 22nd August. Ray runs the line for the 2nd half of Tahnee’s team’s soccer match in Bendigo. They played one of their best games yet and won 8-2 against Epsom.
Race back to Castlemaine for Ray to officiate at our friends, Cath & Mark’s wedding at Clevedon Manor. Come home to check on the girls and then go back into town for the wedding dinner.

Sunday 23rd August. Sleep In!! Until 9am that is. We are due at Daryl and Marg’s place for brunch at 10am. Ray decides he will walk cross country to their place which is approx. 3kms as the crow flies. The girls and I leave a bit later and drive across in the Jackaroo. A pleasant, lazy afternoon – eating bacon and egg sandwiches and watching Nemo on DVD.

Hope you all had a great week too. LOL Marg.

More Diary Entries from Ray:

1/8/09 Day 13/2. Wouldn't know I was having chemo. No side affects apart from cracked, sore nasal passage which is healing well. Went to soccer, chopped, cut and stacked wood in the afternoon.

2/8/09 Day 14/2. No symptoms. Worked on the garden at the North School. Tip run. Met a couple to discuss their wedding. Slept well.

3/8/09 Day 1/3. Chemo Monday - a long day as usual and taking on board that I will be doing this for next 5 months. The White Album concert in the evening was sensational.

4/8/09 Day 2/3. Little nauseous - 1 out of 10. Feeling flat that I will need to continue chemo for next 5 months.

5/8/09 Day 3/3. A little nauseous but a good day until I got to the hospital to have my pump taken off. The nurse realised the valve had not been unclipped on Monday, so the fluid (F5 - an additional drug that drips in over 48 hours after the main drugs have gone in) had not emptied. I have to come back in another 2 days to have it disconnected. Went back to Castlemaine and enjoyed lunch with Marg, Susan, Sue and Jane for Marg's 50th.

6/8/09 Day 4/3. Little nauseous, but OK after taking anit-nausea drug. Lots of water. Trip to Daylesford and Melbourne then home to cook our family birthday dinner for Marg.

7/8/09 Day5/3. Not a good day. Nauseous, gurgly in the tummy. Took anti-nausea tablets all day. Lots of stomach upset. Went out to friend's place for dinner and ate sushi and rice and felt a little better. Slept well.

8/8/09 Day 6/3. Feeling nauseous this morning. Went to Tahnee's soccer match and did linesman's duties for the first half. Not feeling good. Trying to eat small and regularly, noodles and an apple for lunch. Worked in the garden in the afternoon. Fell down a little bit around 3pm. A bit runny. Dry reached, felt a little better after. Had a hot shower and relaxed for the rest of the evening. Had a small roast vegie dinner.

9/8/09 Day 7/3. Not a good day - lethargic, diarroea, nausea. Potted plants in the garden for a couple of hourse - fresh air, trying to shake the lethargy. Showered early afternoon and rested, read, watched movie with the girls. If the pattern is the same as first two rounds, I should pick up tomorrow? Dirrhoea has been more frequent this time round.

10/8/09 Day 8/3/. Still not feeling good. Ran out of anti-nausea tablets over the weekend. Realised I need to make sure I've got a good supply on hand. Got some more today.

Marg says:
I was asked last Sunday night by a neighbour and friend how I was feeling and I replied, "actually, quite relaxed at the moment, although part of me feels I shouldn't be".
After several months of 'normality', what I'm quickly re-learning is that you really can't become too complacent or comfortable with cancer. A misunderstanding by us about the chemo treatment meant we were taken by surprise and quite shocked to find out that it wasn't going to be the third and final chemo treatment (for this round) on Monday. Provided the CT scan (which will be done in 3 weeks time) shows that the chemo is having some affect on the tumors, Ray will remain on fortnightly chemo treatments for the next 5 months!
It was a disheartening moment for both of us, but something we have come to terms with very quickly. As Ray said to Dr Warren "What will be will be".
So, in spite of it all, we left the oncology unit at Bendigo Hospital at 3pm, stopped at Bunnings to pick up some weed matting for Marli's primary school garden, stopped off at home to get changed and then headed down to Melbourne for a Japanese dinner with a friend and then on to the White Album concert.
It was fantastic and a lovely start to my birthday celebrations. We got home at 11.45pm (it's now an hour and 10 minute trip between Castlemaine and Melbourne via the new freeway) and Ray drove all the way. He felt slightly nauseous just before we got home, but not too bad. A little nauseous today with a sore throat, but still got out for a walk late afternoon.

Enjoyed a haircut on Friday, a fresh, invigorating feeling at a physical level, but empowering at an emotional level. Irrespective of whether the chemo will claim my locks, I WAS IN CHARGE - yeah! It was me controlling the decision to take off (some) of my hair. Off for round 3 tomorrow and ready for it. Cut/stacked wood with Marg on the weekend, enjoyed the fresh air and exercise. Have plans to build a strawberry patch this next weekend. Off to Hamer Hall (Arts Centre) in Melbourne tomorrow evening to listen to a group of accomplished musicians sing the Beatles White Album. Celebrating Marg's 50th (August 5th). Will enjoy some sushi beforehand, so the drugs had better behave themselves. Go well beautiful people (read Melanie Safka!!).
Blessings, Ray

A few more diary entries from Ray:

25/7/09 Day 6/2. A lot better today. Off to soccer with Tahnee. Working as the linesman today - enjoying fresh air. How many people in the middle of chemotherapy run up and down a soccer pitch? Nausea easing.

26/7/09 Day 7/2. Sleep in. Out to lunch with friends. Enjoyed a glass of wine. Mouth and nostrils impr0ving.

27/7/09 Day 8/2. Seems to be a pattern in the 2nd week. Nausea improves, stomach settles. Flu like symptoms - runny nose, sore throat, cracked nasal passages.

28/7/09 Day 9/2. Same as yesterday. Nostrils quite sore. Throat easing, no nausea. Eating well. Enjoyed a good walk just before dark.

29/7/09. Day 10/2 Down to Melbourne all day - visiting chaplains. In great spirits. Flu like symptoms persisting. Drinking lots. Enjoyed great evening meal with a friend. Glass of wine.

30/7/09 Day 11/2. Flu like symptoms easing. Throat not as dry. Still eating very well. Drinking lots. Spirit good. Spent day in Kinglake interviewing.

31/7/09 Day 12/2. Flu like symptoms almost gone. Drinking lots still. Fitful sleep. Felt a little cold today - extra layer on. Ready for the next (3rd and final for this lot) round of chemo on Monday. Had a pleasant evening with Marg and the girls - went to the movies and then pizza.

Reading a profoundly moving account of the life of Treya Wilber, wife of Ken Wilber, a transpersonal philosopher. Treya succombed to metastatic breast cancer after a 5 year fight and the book records her journal with commentary by Ken. The book is called "Grace and Grit - Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Wilber". The book inspires me to reflect on an intriguing question about the difference between how we understand "illness" and "sickness"

Think of illness (in this context) as a medical or mental condition that is clinically diagnosed using a system or predetermined set of criteria and sickness as a description or cultural assumption about a person's medical condition. For example gout, an illness can be diagnosed as an inherited form of arthritis with an excess of uric acid in the blood, characterised by painful joint inflamation especially in the toe and thumb. No problems here. But gout as a sickness has stereotypes about it being a "rich person's disease and therefore one might deserve their condition if one overconsumes or lives the high life? Think of STD's or a mental illness such as schizophrenia and the cultural assumptions we might make about these as "sicknesses."
What are the cultural assumptions we might make about cancer (as a sickness)? I would value your comments and reflections. Be gutsy in your response.

Dear Blog Followers. I have decided to put a short running sheet of how I’m feeling each day during my chemo treatment. It’s certainly not extensive and only gives an overview of how I’m feeling physically. Psychologically and spiritually, I am keeping well informed, praying, meditating and giving myself all those strong messages affirming my ability to work through my predicament. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your messages of encouragement and prayers for healing. Blessings to you. Ray.

5/7/09. Begin my first lot of chemotherapy tomorrow. Off to Bendigo oncology. How do I feel? As if I am heading off to meet the executioner, having my last meal! Maybe that’s a little pessimistic? But it’s the uncertainty of it. So many people react differently it’s impossible to compare with other experiences. One thing is for sure – I am not going to take this lying down. I’m taking my camera with me tomorrow. I want to record something of my journey. Reading Jeff McClure in the Age yesterday – his amazing resilience. Here goes – let’s do this for me and for my family and for all those amazing caring individuals.

6/7/09. Picc line is in (peripherally inserted cardiac catheter) – waiting for an x-ray to make sure it is in the right position. This is another major invasion of my body post surgery. The medical staff is so supportive. After my x-ray, Marg and I went for a coffee – I found a dollar on the floor! A positive and encouraging sign (of good luck).
Talking with Anne, the nurse, who is administering the therapies today. She has been a nurse in oncology for 3 years and enjoys it. Her brother died 2 years ago from a melanoma so she is close to cancer and its effects. Asking her what she likes about working in oncology. She remarked that she admires the patients and their spirit. Their sense of resolve and patience.
I think people in situations like this are resigned to their circumstances and often feel a sense of compassion both to care and be cared for. There is a focal point in how people react to one another. I noticed how, in oncology, people are overtly courteous and caring. It was the same experience at Kinglake after the fires. People were aware of this enormous loss and threat and responded. People tend to be a little more open in sharing. Staff are practiced in the subtle and courageous act of pastoral care. With this experience, I feel less complacent, focused. My life may be short – will it be fulfilling??
Arrived home at 5.30pm – the drugs will have an affect over the next 2-5 days. Went home via a butcher’s. I felt like a steak and mashed spuds. Not sure if I will be wanting that later in the week so I thought I would get in early! No physical side affects yet, a slight headache. Feeling desperately positive and continuing to work with those inner resources. My blood pressure is really good – not feeling too anxious. I got a ‘care pack’ from a local support group today so I called them to thank them for their gift.
10.45pm Feeling the first real physical signs of the drugs. My stomach is gurgling and some pains as if I am ready to go to the toilet.

7/7/09.
Day 2. Took a while to get to sleep. The dexamethasone (anti nausea) is a steroid so probably the culprit. Slept well, no side effects yet. Toast and tea for breakfast. Have not been to the toilet for a sit down yet. Feeling pretty good.

8/7/09. Day 3. Well this morning. Took anti-nausea tablets as a precaution. Toast, tea, fruit juice for breakfast. Normal, full evening meals. Sleeping well.

9/7/09. Day 4. So far so good – slightly nauseous. Feels like minor travel sickness. Took anti-nausea tablets. Eating OK. Not feeling too tired. Had a sleep in until 11am. School holidays though! Had the fluorouracil bottle removed yesterday.
6pm. Nausea increasing, not drastically but enough to le me know it’s around. Will make an effort to eat my evening meal. Continuing with anti-nausea medication. Also feeling a little cold – an extra jumper will help.

10/7/09. Day 5. Feeling fine, nowhere near as nauseous as yesterday. Only feeling flat first thing in the morning. Great day. Eating well.

11/7/09. Day 6. Good day. No symptoms. Temperature normal.

12/7/09. Day 7. No symptoms. Slight headache, sniffly nose. Temp. normal. Little loose with bowels.

13/7/09. Day 8. Fine in the morning, woke well, no nausea. Had diarrhea in the evening. Took Laperimide and 2 hours later OK. District nurse changed dressing on Picc line in the afternoon. Slept well.

14/7/09. Day 9. Up well. No nausea, diarrhea gone. Ate good breakfast. Went for an hour’s walk.

15/7/09. Day 10. Great day. Good breakfast. No nausea. Hour’s walk. Slept fitfully.

16/7/09. Day 11. No side effects apart from a dry, “furry” mouth. Hours walk. All well.

17/7/09. Day 12. Furry mouth, dry throat. No other side effects.

18/7/09. Day 13. Furry mouth – feels like a mild throat infection, gargling regularly. Slight diarrhea. Took 2 Laparimide tablets.

19/7/09. Day 14. All well, good breakfast. Furry mouth, slightly sore throat, drinking lots of water. Good exercise today. Sleeping well. A little loose in the evening (bowels).

20/7/09. Second lot of chemo today. Came home feeling a little nauseous. Felt a lot better after eating my evening meal. Sending positive messages to myself (bio-feed back). Relying on the chemical therapies and positive internal messages. I know the reasons for the nausea, so I must overcome those messages relating nausea to food. “Keep on eating no matter what”. It’s not the food that is the cause. Slight blurring of eyesight. Looks as though the centre of my cornea is blurred. Scratchy eyes too.

21/7/09. Day 2/2. Found it hard to sleep last night. One of the positive spin offs was that I read my book for longer than 10 minutes without falling asleep! Dry lips and mild sore throat. Tummy rumbling. Lay in bed last night meditating – eventually succumbed to sleep around 2.30pm.

22/7/09. Day 3/2. Great start to the day. Slept hot in bed – cooled down quickly. Blurry vision cleared. Took 2 Dexamethasone – no nausea, healthy breakfast. A little constipated but cleared around 3.30pm. Face flushed and splotchy in the early evening. Drinking lots of water. My voice is soft, almost like I’m losing my voice. Temp. 35.9deg C.
Met a chap in oncology on Monday. He has cancer of the oesophagus diagnosed 4 months ago and has not managed to eat solids for all that time. He has extreme nausea. On top of this he is a diabetic too. Made me think that even though I am in an extremely difficult situation, someone else is facing an even tougher challenge.

23/7/09. Day 4/2. Slightly nauseous. Eating OK. Took anti-nausea tablet. Walked an hour. Slept well. Great relaxed evening with family.

24/7/09. Day 5/2. Woke up well – took an anti-nausea tablet x 3 today. Felt pretty flat today. Loose bowels, drugs helped quickly. Lunch with friends. Felt lethargic after 3pm. Had commitments this evening but cancelled. Reached a 2 out of 10 for nausea for first time. Hopefully improvement tomorrow. One of the side effects can be mouth ulcers, so far so good although my nasal passages feel cracked and sore. Eyes have lost their scratchiness. Still feeling strong in spirit and very determined.

Ray's first chemo session on Monday went well. A long day - we arrived at 9.30am and didn't leave until 5.30pm. A pic line had to be inserted into a vein in Ray's upper arm and then x-rayed to make sure it was in the right place before the chemo could start. The pic line will stay in place for the whole 6 weeks of the 3 chemo treatments. Anti-nausea and anti-diahrea drugs were then dripped into this line before the actual chemo drugs (2 of them) could be administered. As this was the first treatment, they were dripped in slowly to make sure Ray didn't have any bad reactions. The next chemo session in 2 weeks time will only take two hours.
So far Ray has only experienced slight nausea, but we realise it's early days yet.
A video message from Ray below - sorry it's not pointed the right way, will get that right next time.

After a bit of too-ing and fro-ing we finally have a date for Ray starting chemo treatment - it's Monday 6th July and will last for 6 weeks. Your thoughts and prayers for him leading up to and during this time would, once again, be very much appreciated.
The second clinical trial we were considering is still an option, however, after much discussion with his Bendigo oncologist Ray decided to start chemo with him. The chemo will include the drug Avastin which was going to be used in the first clinical trial that fell through. This drug is now being made available, as from 1st July.
In the meantime, Ray is going over to Perth to visit Andrew (his son) and spend some father-son time catching up and doing some fishing together.
Ray is still feeling well. His blood and liver function tests last week were all in the 'normal' range and he has even gained 3kg! This is great news as it means he starts the chemo treatments in the best possible condition.
Our love and best wishes to everyone.
Ray, Marg, Tahnee & Marli

Again it's been a while since I posted anything, and again because not a lot has been happening. While we have been waiting for the clinical trial to come up, life has been so normal, I could almost believe the whole horrible "Big C" thing isn't happening to us.
Apart from still feeling the tumors as "stinging stitches" now and then, Ray is looking and feeling well otherwise. The girls are happy and very involved in their school and social lives. Tahnee turned 13 last weekend and had a fantastic birthday party down at the Barkers Creek Cricket Hall with 26 of her friends. Marli is becoming a "Master Chef" honing her skills at making delicious cupcakes for her Saturday market stall.
We heard last week that the original clinical trial Ray was hoping to get on, doesn't look like it will be going ahead. Ray has had lengthy discussions with Mark, our Bendigo oncologist, and they have come up with some alternative courses of action. At the moment we are looking at another clinical trial which is being done at Western General Hospital in Footscray. An appointment is being made for Ray to see the doctor there the week after next. Will keep you posted on the outcome.
Best wishes to everyone. Hope you are all well, happy and enjoying and appreciating life!
Marg.

Ray has started to feel the tumors in his liver - a sensation he describes like having a 'stitch'. We thought he might need to start chemo this week, but as the pain is minor and Ray is sleeping and feeling well otherwise, Dr Warren feels it will be better for him to wait until the new clinical trial starts. This won't be for another 4-5 weeks so in the meantime, Ray is having a liver functioning blood test to check that it is OK to wait this long. Unfortunately, if Ray starts chemo in Bendigo, he won't be able to do the clinical trial at Peter Mac in Melbourne which will hopefully give him a better mix of drugs! Please keep your prayers, thoughts and positive vibes going for Ray.
Marg
Feeling in good spirits. Journaling, meditating, juicing, practising guided imagery, reading and practising a wholistic approach to my healthcare. Having a red-hot go at disproving the statistics for longevity! Hope you are all well. Please feel free to contact me in whatever way you feel is appropriate.
Blessings to you all.
Ray

Hi Everyone,
We've heard people have been logging in and wondering what has been happening as it's been a while since I last put something on the blog.
Basically we're in a 'holding' stage. Ray had an ultrasound and PET scan a few weeks ago. They only confirmed what the other scans showed, just in more detail.
At the moment we're waiting to hear back from the clinical trial doctor. His current trial has just finished and he is waiting for results to come back. This will determine when he starts his new trial. If it isn't for another 6 weeks or so, he thinks it may be better for Ray to start the normal chemo treamtment in Bendigo. He was going to speak to Dr Warren in Bendigo and let us know the outcome of their talks this week. So we're just waiting, waiting again.
In the meantime, Ray is back at work and daily gaining back his pre-op strength. He even did a bit of gardening last weekend.
Hopefully I'll be able to post something after this weekend.
Love Marg

At our appointment with Dr Warren last Friday, we discussed 2 clinical trials which he thought would be suitable for Ray. One involved injecting the blood stream with small capsules of radiation that, hopefully, would be delivered to the liver and radiate the lesions there. We opted to go for the other trail which compliments the standard chemotherapy treatment with a newer drug called Avastin. The negatives of this will be that Ray will be a guinea pig for the possible side affects of this new drug as well as the possible side affects of the standard chemotherapy. This treatment with be systemic rather than just targeting the liver which is why we opted for this trial.
The trial is being run at the Peter McCallum Cancer Research Centre in Melbourne, so it will mean Ray going down there for treatment. The wait to get on the trial is between 6 to 8 weeks.
Latest scans have revealed that the lesions on the liver have only grown slightly and Ray remains a-symptomatic and looking and feeling well.
Hoping all is well with you.
Marg

Ray was able to wing an earlier appointment with the oncologist, which we attended on Friday 20th. We also met with the oncology dietician an hour earlier. She was extremely helpful, affirmed our diet and encouraged Ray to keep eating a full range of foods. He has dropped some weight since Christmas (a lot of it probably due to post operation – not to mention stress) and ideally needs to put back on a few kilos.
More importantly the oncologist (Dr Mark Warren) turned out to be the son of a Churches of Christ Minister (George Warren) who mentored Ray when he was doing youth ministry at Hartwell, Camberwell & Balwyn in the late 1980’s. I felt extremely comforted by this and couldn’t help feeling a sense of mystery and wonder – even though what we had to discuss was far from wonderful – the various options for chemo therapy etc.
A positive, for the moment, seems to be that Ray is ‘a-symptomatic’. Dr Warren has never had a patient who has presented with Ray’s type of cancer and not displayed symptoms. While this is unusual, those of us who know Ray well know that he is never ‘typical’.
As a result, Dr Warren is postponing chemo treatment for the moment. Ray will have another scan in a couple of weeks time to see whether the liver lesions have grown and possibly a decision about whether to start chemo treatment will be made then.
Another period of waiting and praying in this long journey of waiting and praying.
Please know that the care, love, best wishes and prayers you all have been sending our way are lovingly reciprocated.
Marg

Unfortunately our visit to the dcotor today did not give us any more information about the when or how of the chemotherapy treatments. We have an appointment on the 27th March with the oncology department. While the waiting is stressful, we know they can't do anything before then as they are waiting for Ray to recover from his surgery.
At this stage the doctor could only confirm his original diagnosis that the cancer has travelled through the lymph system to the liver - so no miracle cures yet.
Your continued prayers are gratefully felt.
Love Marg

Just a quick update to let you know that Ray is recovering well at home from the op.
He's even doing small jobs like hanging out clothes, washing up and sweeping the floor - who needs a housecleaner? (seriously - if you know Ray you'll know you can't stop him).
We also have an appointment next Thursday 12th March to find out the biopsy results from the tumor they removed from his colon and the what, how and when for the chemo treatments.
We'll keep you posted.
Love Marg
P.S. Ray says he got out of hospital early because he was being too much of a troublemaker - trying to help the cleaners in the morning do their work and giving the nurses a hard time!

A Wonderful Surprise

Ray came home unexpectedly today.
The hospital had a number of emergency cases come in and were looking for spare beds, so they asked Ray if he felt OK would he like to go home.
He jumped (but not literally) at the chance.
It's wonderful to have him home and we can't believe it's been less than a week since he had his operation. He's very happy to be back on a normal diet.
Our only concern is the high fire alert for tonight and tomorrow.
We have our bags and boxes packed and loaded into the Jackeroo - it's also pointed in the right direction (thanks Sheila).
Sheila and Andrew left today (Sheila for Melbourne and Andrew for Perth).
David & Lynne arrive on Friday and Sheila will be back then too.
Thanks again everyone for your messages on the blog and by email when the blog posting doesn't work. I've been printing them out and taking them up to Ray each day so he knows you're all thinking about him.
Love Marg

Catheter and epidural come out today, just have drain from stomach to remove which will be done tomorrow - then I'll be tube-free!
I'm over jelly, ice cream, soup and custard.
Moved from a complex care room to a general room in the surgical unit today.
All being well, I'll be home on Thursday.

Another message from Ray:
Moved onto lumpy solids, ice cream and custard today.
Got up for first shower.
Andrew (son) ove from WA.
Epidural coming out on Monday (fantastic drugs).
Probably going home on Thursday next.
Have the Anglican priest coming in to deliver communion on Sunday.
Chatty with fellow in the next bed who has had a similar op. We were planning to order an ambulance to take us out for a counter meal tonight - nursing staff thought it was a good idea but just not practical.
Feeling remarkably good. Sleeping well. Plenty of time to pray, meditate, read and journal.
On first name basis with over 30 medical staff.

A message from Ray:
Thursday 26th Feb. 2009
The nurses got me up today - walked 5 metres and back. Took some time to get on top of pain but feeling good now.
Thanks to all you beautiful, generous people who sent flowers and poetry books:
"Through the empty branches the sky remains
It is what you have
Be earth now and evensong.
Be the ground lying under that sky
Be modest now, like a thing ripened until it is red,
so that he who began it all
can feel you when he reaches for you"
Rainer Maria Rilke
I had a visit fom a surgeon who was doing his rounds with 3rd year students. Sharing some of our stories - he delivers Gideons bibles to schools and industries. He expressed his passion of becoming a chaplain in schools. We shared contact numbers and he is coming to share a conversation mid-week. He knows a number of the Bendigo chaplains. What an asset to our organisation ACCESS ministries - sorry guys, can't help myself.
I will contact you all in the weeks ahead.
Ray

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your prayers, best wishes, care and concern. I'm sure that, plus Ray's strength of body, mind and spirit, is what has pulled him through the operation today with flying colours!
Sheila (his mum) and I were waiting in the Critical Care Unit for 2 hours before we found out that he had been transferred straight to the Surgical Unit because he was doing so well. When we visited him he introduced his attending nurse - "meet Steve, my personal assistant" - yes, you can't stop that Ollerton cheekiness.
We are also relieved that Ray does not need a colostomy bag as there was a chance the colon would not reconnect cleanly.
We are so thankful to be over this first major part of the journey.
If you can keep your prayers going for when Ray starts his chemo treatment in about 4 weeks time I would be extremely grateful.
Will keep you posted.
Love Marg

Came back from pre-admission interview at Bendigo Base today. Operation scheduled for 9am on Wednesday 25th Feb. Will be 3 hours long and in hospital for 7-10 days. Recuperation will be 4-6 weeks. The interns were impressed with my level of fitness and said they wished all their patients were as healthy before having surgery. This made Marg and I feel more confident about the op. I feel in the same space I was in last April just before my big 100km walk with Oxfam - full of anticipation and uncertainty. Wouldn't mind swapping surgery for the walk though!
If you choose to leave your name with a message can you identify yourself more fully so I know who you are.
Thanks for everyones encouragement, prayers and good wishes.

Dear Family, Friends & Colleagues
Had a bolt out of the blue two weeks ago when I was diagnosed with an active tumor in my lower bowel. After a CT scan the tumor was found to have metastasised (travelled) to the liver. There are a number of small lesions (between 2 and 4mm in size). The surgeon has decided to excise the tumor at Bendigo Base Hospital next Wednesday 25th Feb. I'll be recuperating for approx. 4-5 weeks and then having chemotherapy to treat the lesions on the liver. The prognosis (a million dollar question) is good in the short to medium term. The chemotherapy will not be curative, that is, it will not heal the lesions completely, but if I respond to the chemotherapy I will go into remission and that should give me a quality of life for some years.
The last week has been a long and emotionally draining one. Our family is slowly coming to terms with what's happening and preparing ourselves for a long and uncertain journey.
We have had so much support and offers of practical help which confirms our faith in human nature.
ACCESS ministries has been extremely supportive. I will be taking sick leave during the rest of term 1, possibily with some light duties - this will depend on how I recuperate.
We have a request - we are mindful of your wish to send us your love and prayers and to know what's going on, but we don't want to be inundated with phone calls - hence we have started up this blog site for you to place your comments (if you wish) or just check in to see what the latest news is with my condition.
Marg will make every attempt to update the blog regularly. If you add your comments, I will make every effort to respond whilst recuperating.
Thanks for your support and concern.
Blessings to you all
Ray