On reflection, my bowel cancer seems to work at two levels - one, the illness is quite visual - as my body progressively debilitates, e.g. my stomach is distending as the tumors are growing physically quite large and noticeable and I am losing body tissue.

The second part of the illness is what I call the 'creeping effect'. That is, very slowly and all so gradually I feel myself weakening, but the affects each day are extremely minimal, but nontheless cumulative. For instance over the last month, I had thought it would be all right to walk by myself without a cane, but my second fall, within as many weeks, has proven that I cannot walk without assistance now (a little bit of stubborness involved here too).

Being famously supported by my family and a small and intimate number of friends.

Despite the above, enjoyed a wonderful concert last Thursday at the local Anglican Church listening to two classical guitarists - Leonard and Slavo Grigorian. Two weeks before that ventured down to Melbourne for the first time in over 3 months to see the MTC production of "Summer of the Seventeenth Doll". So in amongst all my tiredness and so-called debilitation I am still managing to enjoy some special outings.

Apart from the occasional mid-30 day, I have been enjoying the fine weather watching the honeyeaters and other local birds flitting in and out of the bird bath in our garden; developing from fledglings into adulthood.

Still journalling and, once a week, a close friend comes up with his video camera to spend 10 minutes recording some of my reflections. Hopefully a legacy for my family in years to come.

Thank you for the many emails, cards and letters I have and continue to receive. It would be a daunting task for me to answer them all, but please know that I am deeply grateful and thankful for all the prayers, personal stories and best wishes you send my way.

Love and best wishes
Ray